It is the same for all of you, so don’t judge me while I say that it’s like a war front. My kitchen and me are like the ground setting of Kurukshetra where thoughts about what to cook keep fighting with each other. All the members of my family want something different to eat and I never seem to be in the mood for cooking. It becomes an unbearable combination of laziness and hunger for me when I enter the kitchen with a mood to eat a bowl of corn flakes (the easiest thing I can do) but my baby wants something else and my husband wants a dish from some other planet. Let alone the ‘in laws’ who pledged to torture me when I was taking my pheras.
I am here to tell you about such a day when I decided to give up cooking and that too for a good reason. A Sunday afternoon is a lazy time for all. My hubby was lying down on the bean bag in our living room and was not even moving for the regular cleaning. Keeping a bag of cockroaches handy would solve my purpose of moving him, I think. Anyways, I was supposed to make aloo parathas because apparently everyone loves them and it is a little bit easier for me too. But when I entered the kitchen I realize that I was out of potatoes.
Back To square one. I came to the living room and asked every one if they wanted something else because aloo parathas were cancelled. My hubby refused to go on a 5 minute expedition to the near by grocer to bring the potatoes and it was getting frustrating for me.
Then I turned to the biggest couch potato of my house, my mother in law. She was in a good mood and so she decided to grill me a little more. She individually asked my entire family to know what they wanted to eat. Five different people with five different dishes. She glanced at me and told me to get started. The ground moved from beneath my feet. I felt like banging my head against the wall but I had no option. She has the license to order me which I will put to rest later in the day.
I entered the battle field like Rani Laxmi Bai. My baby refused to go to anyone else because she didn’t get any ‘mumma time’ since morning. So I made Dal and chapati for my father in law, sabzi and chapati for my mother in law, pasta for my bigger kid, khichdi for my little one and chilli chicken and rice for the one I wanted to burn. You must know who I am talking about. I wanted him to feel the heat for a few days and the freshly opened bottle of Tabasco became the main ingredient for his dish.
You know it’s hard to make chapatis with one hand. My baby refused to get down and I rolled them with my palms. The shapes were wondrous but I hoped they will taste fine. Just after fiftenn minutes of entering the kitchen every one started to ask me for feed. They forgot that they were not sitting in a resturant where the meal is pre-cooked. I was cooking it from scratch and that too with a baby in my hand.
After almost 40 minutes the big couch potato wrapped in a parrot green saree moved and came to the kitchen. She must have been thinking about a one liner for a very long time and when she found a perfect one, she came to fire it away. She said, “Itne time me to hume bees logo ka khana bana lete the”. I kept mum and started lay down the dishes. Then I got an idea and I asked her to lay down the dishes for everyone. I asked her to pour the dal and veggies for everyone. And for the first time in life she did something to irritate me and I used it to my advantage. M still using it by the way. She mixed a little bit of the gravy of chilli chicken in my father in laws dal. She didn’t know it was my revenge dish.
The food was served and everyone started to eat.
As soon as my father in law took the first few bites he started to feel pukish because of all the chillies I added to his dal. My mother in law started the lecture of how careless I was and I stood there in shock because I will be using the same dal for my baby too as a soup later. I rushed to the kitchen to bring the dal I had kept aside for him. I asked my father in law to taste it and it was absolutely perfect.
My mother in laws face flushed because she was the one who laid the dishes. She told me that I must have added something to make it horrble. But everyone knew why would I ruin my own dish. I was dancing in my heart and my mother in law had tears in her eyes because her intentions got caught for the first time.
And yes my husband ate the chilli chicken for the last time in his life. He is fine but the dish is never on his list of ‘What do you want to eat’ anymore. After this incident I realized that it’s my right to rest for a day and be as lazy as everyone else.
After the lunch, I started telling everyone that I needed a break and from next Sunday onwards I will NOT COOK anything the entire day. I said it and left the room to feed my child. They kept discussing it for two more hours. I could hear the murmurs of my mother in law telling my husband how lazy I was. Well, I don’t care. Since then Sundays are my favorite. I watch movies, I order food from outside and take rest. I have started to fell that I love my job as a home maker a little more since the day I started to treat my self with a weekly holiday.
Let me know what you think. We all deserve it. We work as hard as anyone else in the family, don’t we?